It is said that everyone needs a set of rules to live by. As an outsider, having traveled the globe and spent time living and working in 26 countries, Joe Extraordinary started compiling a list of rules to be followed by potential visitors to this planet. He called it “Earth Life Rules for an Enjoyable Journey” and it forms part of the soon-to-published autobiography entitled “Dial Earth For Operator”.
The Extraordinary Life Rules:
1. Accept the fact that you are the universe experiencing itself – whatever you are finding yourself stuck in, is only a moment, and this time will pass. But only if you allow it.
2. Never believe what they tell you in commercials.
3. When you feel down, look up. When you feel up, never look down.
4. Never allow beer to replace Ice Cream – It’s the first step to growing up.
5. Never allow religion to replace your comic books – it’s the first step towards insanity.
6. Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like chocolate.
7. Travel light – only buy a washing machine when you are absolutely certain you plan on settling down.
8. A dishwasher does not make life easier.
9. Accept the fact that you will never understand why nothing sticks to Teflon – and even if you do, it won’t change a thing.
10. Treat every woman you meet as a lady – until she proves you wrong.
11. Looking for the good in others is much the same as hunting for Easter eggs – when you find it share the secret.
12. There is a man on the moon.
13. Every human being on the planet shares the same sub-conscious – some just have better firewalls.
14. If you think that you’ve seen someone before, you have.
15. When you realize that you are your own destiny, you will understand why a dog chases its own tail.
16. You are not meant to sit in an office – unless that office has no hours, no managers and an ever-changing view.
17. Never call anyone your “boss”. You don’t have a boss, you have an employer. If you had a boss they couldn’t fire you – you can only sell a slave.
18. Never lie to children – they will know and never forgive you for stealing their magic.
19. To carry a child in your arms is a magic moment – not for the child, but for the one carrying them.
20. The eyes are not the window to the soul. I have met blind people with more soul than those with perfect vision that refuse to see.
21. Beauty is not in the eyes of the beholder, Beauty IS the beholder.
22. How do we know that the earth is truly round? Have you ever been up and space and seen it for yourself?
23. Don’t ever follow trends, they will make you look as stupid as the person who started it.
24. It is better to be the person everyone knows than to have that person on speed dial.
25. Mathematics is not a universal language. If it were we would not be communicating in English.
26. Never give your child a family name – you will hand them your mistakes.
27. Nobody really knows all the people on their Facebook accounts.
28. When in doubt – eat peanut butter.
29. Facebook is run by the CIA and your participation has made it possible for them to track and record details of every human on the planet without encroaching on your right to privacy – think about it.
30. Never ask “what if”. It is the “what if not’s” that have granted you some of the best experiences of your life.
31. Everyone was a baby once – remember that the next time you face a bully.
32. You are the product of everything you have ever heard – and remembered.
33. Never subscribe to a religious belief system as this will only keep you from doing what you intended to when you arrived on Earth – living.